It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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