you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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