the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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