forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
