I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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