she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
