I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
