he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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