Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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