no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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