i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
honey bunches of taint.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
