my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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