I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize