All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
