can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
