U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize