So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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