i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
