Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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