Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
