Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
