i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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