He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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