He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my shit smells like andre
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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