We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
