I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
