Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She's the barista slut.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
