she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
