help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
