Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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