dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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