I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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