brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
