Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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