im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
