i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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