We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
