Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
