kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
