I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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