dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
