Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
