Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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