I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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