What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
