I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize