trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
