I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
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