i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
