Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
