It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
