new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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