dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
