Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
