Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
