i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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