Define "chronic" masturbator.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize